The Break In That Never Was

I often wonder how ghosts feel...

Some come across and angry, some come across as sad, and others come across as lonely. If we should delve together into this, let's think about life first. First let's use our imaginations.

     A leisurely stroll through the cemetery in the autumn, amidst the tombstones under grey skies, crows cawing in the distance, leaves blowing across the ground as if being stirred by the footsteps of great spirits. You stop at a particular headstone. JJ Smith, born 1872 - died 1911. Still another A Jones born 1941 - died 1962, still another, and another, and another as you look down the rows of countless dead. Most of which faceless, only names to be read. You begin to wonder about their lives. What kind of horrors they experienced, set backs, loves lost, joys of life, dreams which were never attained, hurts and pains. If we are to put our empathic selves into their shoes, imagine being where they are at this point.

Maybe one has this story...

     Born into a happy family, a mother who loved her, and spent every waking second seeing to her health and needs. A father who worked hard to provide a good life to her. The love experienced by this child, a great remembrance. As she grew older, life began to happen. The father died, the mother working as hard as possible, suffering from the loss, depressed and in despair, does all she could to raise her child.

     Moving across country from the only home she knew, suddenly and unexpectedly blown through the windshield in an horrific accident with a semi. Death being instantaneous to both mother and daughter.

     Maybe she doesn't see "the light." Maybe she doesn't see her mother. Maybe she finds herself in the only home she ever knew. Seconds tick by in dismal sadness, she walks around the house calling out her mother's name. There is no answer. The house is dark and lightless as she goes into her first night. What happened? Why is everything so depressing? Not remembering what happened hours before, but only the thought of where's mom...? Days grow into weeks. No one stirs in that house, except for a lonely being, seemingly trapped in a maze she knows all to well.

     Finally what seems like an eternity, she realizes the sound of voices. She runs as fast as she can to her mother's waiting smile, but only seeing people she doesn't know. A family. She asks countless times who they are and where her mother is, to no avail. They just ignore her. She keeps asking but they walk on by.

     Who are these people!!!? What are you doing here!!!? She spends weeks trying to talk to them, and is completely ignored. Unloved, full of the memories she once had, gives up and displaces to the attic. Coming out occasionally to see what is happening. Watching a birthday here and there, coming down to be ignored at Christmas. Sadness turns to anger and hated.

Why are you treating me like this!!!? Get out!!!!

Staring out the window of one of the children's bedrooms one night, she knows she can't leave. The front door locked. Has she tried to leave? Once... She pushed so hard to step from that threshold but couldn't move. She had trapped herself in a paradox. One time she use to sit in the tire swing from that old oak. Now that limb only contains scars of once was, as she stares out of the window. Her father use to push her as she giggled, before her world came crashing down. It is pointless. She is stuck with these people forever.

     She suffers in emotional entanglements, continually seeing what once was, and what is. She never comes to the conclusion she has died. Only emotional trauma, scarred by endless torment of memory and disappointment. The very walls seem to echo her existence, but covered by photo's of these people.

     Her anger turns to rage, and one night, as the family leaves her alone once again. She channels that anger into a lesson she will never forget. A violent outburst of kinetic energy, smashing those very pictures, and blowing books and ornaments off the shelves and slamming doors to every room in the house. She finally ends her systematic blowout of the home and waits for the family to arrive.

     They walk in and to their surprise see their prized possessions strewn all over the house in a heap of glass covered wreckage. To see their faces is priceless, as she sits in the corer snickering over kingdom of waste. What she has learned this night will certainly lead to endless possibilities, as the family who ignored her for so long is in complete and utter hysteria at the apparent "Break In" that never was. In fact it was a break out...

Dee McCullay - Dark History


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